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Saturday, October 31, 2020

Fifteen years

Like many of you this week, I'm wound into a tight little knot of frayed nerves and I haven't been able to remedy this anxiety. I mean, I spent nine hours riding my bike on Friday, pedaling to exhaustion along an icy 75-mile route with nearly 11,000 feet of climbing, and it didn't help. Like at all. I mean, it was a beautiful day and a great ride, but the effects wore off as soon as I stopped pedaling. I'm worse today than I was on Thursday. Alas. I think it might be time to break into the stress eating and wine. 

Amid the fretting about November 3, I realized this date marks an interesting personal anniversary. November 3, 2005, was the day I launched this blog. Yes, this one. Fifteen years. Fifteen years, 2,212 posts, 25,600 comments, and some 60,000 page views per month. I'm both proud and embarrassed that it's gone on this long. I recently read a post from a blogger who has been at it for a mere ten years. The writer mused, "One little blog post is nothing on its own. But publish a thousand blog posts over a decade, and it becomes your life's work."

I can't even fathom how different my life would be if, on November 3, 2005, I sat down at a clunky Dell desktop computer in the loft of a drafty cabin in Homer, and instead of launching a blog to update friends and family about my great new life in Alaska, I decided to trawl eBay auctions for gear I couldn't afford. Or rant about reporters who add two spaces after every period on the Testy Copy Editors forum. Or whatever it was I even did on the Internet in 2005. What did any of us do before Facebook and the rapid erosion of civilized society? I can barely remember. 

Still, I'm forever grateful that this Napster-surfing, 26-year-old version of me started this blog. It quickly connected me with a group of cycling enthusiasts, who donated actual dollars to my novice training endeavors, thus helping me venture into the wild world of endurance racing and winter adventures (yes, I'm embarrassed that I used to beg for money on my blog. But I wouldn't have been able to pay for the Susitna 100 on my $12/hour with no benefits newspaper salary otherwise.) The rest is a whole lot of history. 

This morning, when I again wasn't focusing well on the writing project that I'm currently trying to squeeze out of dry air, I turned to the Wayback Machine to look up my blog in 2005. It was satisfyingly soothing to scroll through the posts as they once appeared. For all of the importance I place on archives, I almost never go back and read old blog posts. It was fun to reimagine this era when life seemed so simple: Scraping feet of snow off my 1996 Geo Prism, bike commuting to work, narrowly avoiding frostbite while wearing four pairs of cotton socks stuffed into New Balance running shoes, well before I owned most of the gear necessary for riding bikes through an Alaska winter:


This was such a nice respite from the Internet hellscapes where I typically spend my time these days. If you have an old or neglected blog languishing in cyberspace, I strongly recommend a visit to the Wayback Machine. 

This nostalgia post doesn't really have a point, other than to celebrate a 15-year anniversary that probably won't feel appropriate to celebrate on Tuesday. It's Oct. 31, and Beat and I have nice plans to hike up Bear Peak and watch the sunset and moonrise of the rare Halloween blue moon. Quietly, I continue to plan an escape to the high Utah desert where I can park a car far away from cell phone reception and spend my nights looking at the sky. 


Escapes of the mind are almost as good as physical escapes. I feel better now. If there's anything I've learned from 15 years of blogging, it's that hope springs eternal. And long bike rides in all weather are the best course of action, always. 

20 comments:

  1. I don't remember when I started reading your blog, or how I came upon it in the first place (although I think it was a link/mention from either The FatCyclist or Bike Snob NYC), but it wouldn't surprise me to find out that I'd been around since almost the beginning. Remember when I made my daughter FanBomb you and your Dad at the North Rim? It has been fun reading your posts these past years and getting to pseudo-know you. Keep writing, keep going out in weather I would have to dress warmly just to watch on tv. You take the cold road, I'll take the heat in the desert. Happy Anniversary.
    As a postscript, you're not the only one with pre-election anxiety. What helps me is to remember that the world is full of all kinds of people, the vast majority will, given the opportunity, do the right thing.

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  2. I believe this is the 1st comment I’ve made in 15 years of reading. I, too, followed a link from Fat Cyclist and then went down your rabbit hole, reading all the previous posts. As a Southern cyclist, I was amused and amazed at the riding you were attempting in freezing Alaska. As a budding traveler, I was stunned by the scenery you were photographing (thanks for showing me the Narrows – I got there in 2013). As a photographer, I was interested in the pocket cameras you were using on a bike. As a Spin instructor, I was drawn to your music (thanks again for Modest Mouse & Florence & The Machine, btw). As a woman, I was tuned into the emotions you so beautifully frame in your writing. As a human, I agree with your politics. I am old enough to be your mother, though I chose to live child-free, I feel as though I have vicariously watched you grow up, going through things that sometimes touched my own memories so deeply I cried. I have purchased and read your books. When you married last month, I tried my best to send congratulations, but could not find how to post a comment. (FB won’t let me comment). So finally, CONGRATULATIONS on your marriage to Beat, and please continue to write out your life for us to take like a tonic. I, too, am so worried about the outcome of this election that I cannot focus, cannot fathom another four years of the current administration, but the apoplectic dismay of 2016 is still fresh & raw and I am wary of going there again. We shall see.

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  3. Happy Anniversary. WOW! 15 years. That's more than 1/3 of your life. I can't even remember when I found your blog. Eric found it first and then bought me your first book as a Christmas present and then I found your blog and reached out to you the next time you came to Fairbanks and the rest is history! Keep writing and sharing your adventures with the world.
    And I think most of us are pretty anxious about next week's election. I'll be so glad when it is over.

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  4. Happy Blog-anniversary. Have always enjoyed reading you, I remember almost studying everything you wrote about Stagecoach 400 before I rode it, and you were spot on. Congrats on your marriage and lets hope for good news for our Country and lots of needed rain !

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  5. There are so few quality outdoor blogs out there (mostly outdoor gear reviews types), but when I found your's I was hooked. Love your honesty, ambition, and your ability to share a range of emotions from bliss to suffering. To me, your daily "struggle" and "no punches pulled" writing style is like word crack...highly addictive. So thrilled you are keeping it up. It will make great amusement to review this "journal" when you are my age (turned 70 yesterday). I'm almost 15 years into my blog but, unfortunately, I started on the Apple platform and they did away with it to focus on iphones. So all I lost the early years when I was forced to move to Blogger. Oh well...

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  6. I used to ride my bike a little grumpily to work and then later in the day I'd read how you'd ridden through rain and snain and ice to get to your job in Homer - you were (and are) such an inspiration! So many beautiful pictures, such adventuresome stories - and books - over the years. Thank you!

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  7. THANK YOU for all the years you've let us get to know you and all the inspiration you've provided. I've ridden through PA winters thanks to that. Keep it up. P.S. I'm one of the two spaces after a period people...sorry. :-)

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  8. I don't remember how I found your blog either, but you were still in Alaska. I am on year 12 but I am too embarrassed to go back and read some of my overwrought posts from back then. I love your blog so much, you put so much effort into great writing. I'm thinking of the desert also....

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  9. I found your blog via Kent Peterson. I think the first post I read was a beach ride you did on a very rocky Alaskan beach. I've always appreciated the long form stories and photographs (and your books!) whether from Alaska, Montana, California, Colorado, or especially Italy. Your lifestyle is a bit different from mine and leads me to wonder, what if I had followed a different path? Wishing you health and peace on your blog anniversary.

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  10. You were blogging from Juneau when I became a regular reader. Ever since, you have provided me a great deal of entertainment, inspiration and education. I appreciate your writing and photography, as well as your independence from sponsors and other taskmasters. I also appreciate and admire your willingness to be vulnerable in public — a quality that has contributed to some of your best stories.

    Congratulations on 15 years. I hope you give us 15 more.

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  11. I think I found your blog through FatCyclist also. I love the honesty, and beauty, of your writing. And your photos that help tell the story with such aching beauty. Thank you for the adventures, the soul searching, the joie de vivre ... I hope you continue to share.

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  12. Jill, I found your blog during the 2009 Tour Divide and was in awe of your inner strength and determination to keep going, in a race that was beyond my comprehension. That awe hasn't lessened over the years. Your extraordinary exploits, amazing photography and wonderful writing style, will keep me reading for as long as you continue to blog. Thank you for allowing your blog readers to share in all your highs and lows of the past 15 years.

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  13. I think I came across you from Fat Cyclist when you were in Junea, and I've loved following every adventure. You've been so inspiring and your photos and exploits a great escape for me at lunches at my desk. I hope you keep it up another 15!

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  14. So between Alaska, Nor Cal, and Boulder, which place do you like best?

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    1. Still Homer, Alaska. I was a fool to leave that town all of those years ago, although I won't give up any part of my life that has happened since.

      If I was to reach a point in life where I didn't plan to travel or move around much, I'd love to settle in a place like Homer. A little cottage by the sea, watch the tide come in, take a skiff across the Bay to visit the Kenai Mountains. It's a fun daydream when I'm stuck in place by the pandemic.

      There's a lot I like about Colorado. It's not nearly as confined as anywhere I might live in Alaska, close to my family, lots of intriguing mountain opportunities, lots of trails. But there are also a lot of people here, a higher concentration of crowds in the outdoors. Since the difficult summers of 2018 and 2020, I believe climate change will increase the difficulty of living here — constant fear of wildfires, dealing with the respiratory consequences of smoke pollution for weeks or even months on end. It also seems likely that climate change will squeeze in on the already (in my opinion) sparse winters.

      Alaska also has its own drawbacks, of course. There's no truly "perfect" place out there. But Alaska ... if money and health insurance and politics were no object ... is probably as close to perfect for me as it gets.

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    2. Thanks. I lived in Boulder in the 70's, a lot fewer people and fewer trails back then.....

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    3. Thanks, my wife likes cold weather and she's been perusing the "Alaska Hiking" FB page and marveling at the mountain scenery. I like the options and different climate zones here in the 4 Corners

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  15. :) I found your blog mid June 2008 searching for a on the ground voice of living in Juneau AK during a long base power outage due to a avalanche....found a amazing voice of adventure and growth instead that I have enjoyed ever since!! Thanks for continuing to share your story :).

    Jeff C

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  16. Thank you, everyone, for the nice comments. And thanks for reading all of these years.

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  17. I'm glad your blog is still going strong after 15 years! I love following your adventures vicariously!

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Feedback is always appreciated!