Rocky start

Date: April 27
Mileage: 31.5
April mileage: 717.9
Temperature: 45

The rain was coming in sideways when I felt my rear rim dragging on pavement. I pulled over to the side of the road to assess where I was; I had been squinting into the dim yellow circle cast by my headlight for so long that I wasn’t even sure. I shifted my trunk bag to reach my repair gear when it dawned on me that the headlight was in fact my only source of light. There was no way to illuminate the wheel so I could change the flat. I clip clopped in my cleats down the road, grumbling about how I really should have switched out my pedals when I had the chance. I walked nearly a half mile before I reached the nearest street light. Slimy brake dust goo and grit dripped down my fingers as I removed the rim. The rest of the flat change went quickly, but as I stood up to leave, I realized that the jeans I was wearing, covered by my very best pair of rain pants, had already soaked through. The denim chafed and scraped my thighs as I started pedaling. Stupidly, I had left them on because I thought they would keep me warmer than my wet tights. I stopped to adjust my pants. It was 11:15 p.m. My socks were soaked. My gloves were soaked. The headwind was so strong I had barely cracked 10 mph since I left work. "Could this commute be going much worse?" I thought. That's when I noticed my red blinkie was missing from my trunk bag.

Today was day five of my summer as an everyday bicycle commuter. Today was also day five of my summer as a single person. I can’t say either is going very well, but at least I can still attribute the glitches to growing pains. Packing for the commute has been an experiment in disarray. I've been using a rear pannier, a trunk bag and a Camelbak just to carry all the crap I have with me, and still every day I forget something crucial ... my bike lock, a salad I had planned to eat for dinner, dry socks, the key card I need to get into the building. When the weather is similar to what it has been these past two days - steady rain with sustained 20-25 mph winds - I've learned I need two pairs of gloves, two pairs of underwear, two pairs of socks, rain coat and pants, my regular bike clothes, and my work clothes. If I don't carry two pairs of regular bike clothes, I either have to put wet clothes on when I leave, or wear my work clothes home, as I did yesterday. My office is set up "newsroom" style (i.e. a cubicle without the cubicle) Company decorum dictates that I can't hang up wet clothes everywhere, so everything but my coat and pants gets stuffed in a drawer, where it stays wet.

As I suspected, the wetness has been tough. I still get out in the morning for workouts. Today I did a quick-but-strenuous block of intervals over 19 miles, came home soaked, took a shower, and then had to head back out in the weather to go to work.

And I have to admit that I leave work thinking, "Hmm. I could be in a warm car right now. I could be home in 10 minutes." I leave work at 11 and all I'm interested in is being at home. I do not want to be riding my bike in the rain.

I also miss my dinner breaks. I used to take an hour every day to go home and eat dinner with Geoff. Now that he's gone, there's no reason for me to go home for dinner. So instead I take about 20 minutes and eat a salad in the company break room. Spending my entire shift at the office sure makes the workday seem longer. But I'm not about to go back out in the weather.

That said, I'm going to stick with the bike commuting. I'm hoping routine kicks in to make it less stressful, and experience kicks in to make it more enjoyable. I figure bike commuting is like endurance racing ... suffering is what makes the experience worthwhile.

Video blog: Beach cruising

Date: April 26
Mileage: 24.2
April mileage: 686.4
Temperature: 49

Yes, I know these videos are pretty silly. But I have fun with them. Isn't that what matters?

Today's song is "My Rights Versus Yours," by the New Pornographers.

Living simply, simply living

Date: April 25
Mileage: 57.6
April mileage: 662.2
Temperature: 51

My housemate and I have agreed to shut off the heat as a way to conserve energy in this time of electricity famine. Although it's spring now and the weather has been really nice this week, the temperatures still drop into the low 30s at night and our northeast-facing apartment doesn't see much direct sunlight. The whole house has this icebox feel to it. The last time I walked by the thermostat, it read 57 degrees. I was really, really tempted to turn it up. But instead, I headed back out on my Pugsley for a little trail time after riding nearly 50 miles earlier today. Having no heat is actually a great motivator to get out. Cycling is still the best way to stay warm.

Right now in Juneau, saving energy is on everyone's mind. The prospect of having your electric bill increase fivefold will do that. The electric company recently reported that in a week's time, Juneau's energy use dropped 20 percent. It continues to drop more every day. People are making a conscious effort to turn off lights and appliances. They're hanging clotheslines in their living rooms (Drying clothes outside is rarely feasible in Juneau, although it has been possible this week.) My housemate and I went through and unplugged most of the cords in our house. Since I dislike cooking anyway, I happily stick to my salads and sandwiches and leave the stove turned off. We keep the refrigerator on - it seems like a luxury now. As does the computer, although it's off a lot longer these days.

It actually feels good to make these little sacrifices. Not because we're saving a ton of money (although, with the heat turned off, we are.) And not because we're staving off the burning of emissions-spewing fuel (although I do feel strongly about doing my part, I have my fair share of pessimism in this regard.) No, giving up a few electric luxuries feels good because it makes me feel more self-sufficient. I don't need electric heat to survive. I wouldn't even need it if it were winter - I'd pull out my -40 degree sleeping bag, my down jacket, my boots, my coats. There must be a reason I own all of that stuff beyond the agony of winter camping. It's survival gear, and I cherish it, because it means I'm free.

That's also the same reason I've resolved to become a more dedicated bike commuter. I was much too dependent on my car, even though I mainly used it as a way to travel to work in dignity (i.e. not showing up at the office wind-blasted, grit-coated and dripping rainwater.) But the truth is, I can duck into the bathroom, change my clothes, blow-dry my hair, and still walk up the stairs in dignity. It really was just an excuse to justify my car dependency. But eventually (and probably soon) that car is going to break down for good, and I'd like to believe I don't need to replace it. Because if I'm free to not own a car, I'm free to divert more of my time and income into the things I truly enjoy. So, yes, I'm aiming to go car-free for completely selfish reasons.

I really believe that the less dependent I am on things, the happier I can be. Of course I still have things I can't live without - my bicycles, my cats, my -40 degree sleeping bag, the poisonous cans of Diet Pepsi that I suckle with reckless abandon. I'm not aiming for extremes. I'm just trying to strike a balance between owning nothing and being owned by things ... a happy place, more freedom to move, more space to live.

One more parked car

Date: April 24
Mileage: 35.5
April mileage: 604.6
Temperature: 47

Today was errand day. I had time to squeeze in a decent ride while my car was at the shop, but for the most part I spent a beautiful warm day knocking mundane things off a list that I had let build for a little too long. It made me miss Geoff that much more. I really took for granted all the little things he was always the one to do ... grocery shopping, recycling, repairs, cleaning. Now that I need to do all of this stuff for myself, I won't be able to just let my life revolve around working, eating, and biking anymore. I actually have to be self-sufficient again.

Much of my day revolved around my car. I had the summer tires put back on (only nine days past the legal deadline. Better than last year.) I had the oil changed. I vacuumed up a winter's worth of dirt from the upholstery, scrubbed all the panels, cleaned out the trunk and sprayed down the exterior. I took it on all the errands I need a car to do ... haul multiple boxes of trash to the recycle center, and buy calories in bulk at Costco. Then I put some gas in it ($3.75 a gallon), drove it home and parked it in my designated parking spot, where I plan to let it sit for quite a while.

My summer of bike commuting has officially begun. I nearly have my road bike ready for on-demand transportation (lights, trunk bag, bike lock mount, rack with optional waterproof panniers and new tires.) It still has clipless pedals, which I think are bad for commuting because they require use of cleat-bottomed shoes that are unpleasant to walk in. I can't mount my platforms yet because Geoff took the pedal wrench, so I need to buy a new tool first.

I plan to use my bike to commute to work every day, as well as evening outings, the library, and other miscellaneous errands. I will probably still use my car to go grocery shopping, since I dislike grocery shopping so much I usually only go once every two weeks and pile up $126 worth of food at Costco. (It is possible for a single person to shop at Costco, as long as you don't mind eating a big spinach salad and a chicken breast for dinner every day for a week.) And I have never been good at quitting anything cold turkey, so the car will probably still come out on rainy days when I am really grumpy. But for the most part, I want it to sit.

It struck me today as funny that I was doing all this work on my car only to not use it for most of a season. Some of the work was necessary (getting my illegal studded tires removed.) But the rest struck me as a form of winterizing - similar to the way people clean and tune up their bikes before stowing them in a basement for the winter. It just seems that if you are going to neglect something, you might as well do it with dignity.

And so my car sits. Let the commute begin.

The snow biking's still not bad

Date: April 23
Mileage: 33.1
April mileage: 569.1
Temperature: 43

I've been trying to reinvent my road bike as a do-all commuter, so it was in several pieces in the living room when my cats woke me up at an unspeakable hour this morning. I had a lot of time to kill before work (and my commute to work), but I wasn't looking forward to restarting my rack installation/tire changing/light mounting/pedal-swapping project. I decided I was going to take the Karate Monkey out for a morning spin on pavement before I finished fixing my preferred bike.

But when I went to the basement to grab it, I noticed the seat was still on Pugsley (I still only own one saddle and seatpost for my Surlys, and I have to swap it out between the two.) I was so, so lazy this morning that I didn't even feel like turning a wrench on a seatpost clamp. I grabbed Pugsley instead.

The tires were inflated to only about 7 or 8 psi from recent runs on soft snow, but I was so, so lazy that I didn't even want to put air in the tires. "Where can I go where it won't matter if I'm on bouncy wheels?" I only have to pedal a half mile from my house before I reach the Mount Jumbo access trail. This was the first point in which I thought about snow biking today.

Soft and punchy was the theme of the day, but rideable the snow still is - at least on slight inclines and downhills. It took only minutes to climb up to the meadow and just like that - a world apart.

Mount Jumbo looked like avalanche central. It's hard to tell from the shadows in this photo, but to the immediate left of the peak, there is an overhanging ceiling of pure snow that must be at least 20 feet deep. I kept staring at it, waiting for a wall of powder to peel off the slope. Meanwhile, I skirted along sidehills and made often-dead-ending efforts to stay far away from the mountain.

Even so, there's still enough good terrain up there to consume a whole day. The snow pack is definitely rotting, and I was surprised to discover Pugsley was getting better float than I could. The going was always slow, but when I started fishtailing out of control, I would put my foot down only to sink thigh-deep in the oatmeal-like slush. Strange to climb out of that, get back on my bike, and start rolling again.

After riding down, I took a detour onto the beach that, thanks to low tide, became a long detour. Crushing mussel shells, crunching over barnacle boulders and and mashing through sand put a big smile on my face. I was freewheeling again, loving life, loving Juneau, happy.

It was exactly what I needed. Thanks, Pugsley.

Our last ride of spring

Date: April 21 and 22
Mileage: 40 and 29.2
April mileage: 536
Temperature: 42 and 45

I traced the emerging trail beneath a canopy of spruce trees, dripping snowmelt and strings of moss onto still-frozen mud. I reconnected with the paved bike path and rolled back to Geoff, who was parked on a bench and inhaling a sandwich.

"Still a lot of snow back there?" he asked.

"It won't be too long now before this town has real mountain biking," I said.

"Not soon enough," he said. He held out the remaining piece of sandwich. Tuna and mayo on pumpernickel bread. I wrinkled my nose. "How bout a Tootsie Roll then?"

I took the chilled piece of candy and popped it in my mouth. It was meaty and a little bit stale from possibly a few too many rides in Geoff's coat pocket. I kicked a piece of ice onto the grass, short and dead in April. I wasn't even thinking about the promise of May. I was wondering why there weren't corpses of August flowers everywhere. "I can't believe you're willing to leave this all behind," I said.

Geoff smirked. "It's not too late to come with me."

"Yes it is."

"What do you think you'll do?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to quit biking. I think I'll get some Direct TV or whatever the cable companies are pushing these days, and put in some good time on the couch with Bon-Bons."

"Bon-Bons?"

"Ok, Cheetos. And Coco Puffs straight from the box. The works. I'm really going to put in the hours this summer. Next time you see me, you're not even going to recognize me."

"You'll have to get a working TV first."

"I hear they sell those at stores these days."

Geoff laughed and looked away. "Whatever. You're probably exicted not to have me around bothering you and trying to feed you real food anymore. I know you're just going to end up riding 100 miles every day."

"I wish it was as easy as that," I said.

Geoff reached into his coat pocket. "You want another Tootsie Roll?"

"No," I said. I squinted at his watch. "Is it really noon?" He nodded. "I really have to go," I said. "I'm going to be late for work. How much further are you going?"

"I'm going to try to get 100 today," Geoff said. He stuck the Tootise Roll in his mouth and we rode together to the end of the bike path. I turned back and he kept going, toward summer.

Long summer.

I need a new training goal

Date: April 20
Mileage: 29.2
April mileage: 466.8
Temperature: 41

The rash of nice weather continues, and I feel like I should have endless, boundless energy - the self-perpetuating kind that feeds off warmth and light and gives me the boost I need to launch into summer. But instead I just feel a little sluggish, a little weighted, a little too tempted to crawl back into bed for early morning naps. The stamina's not there. I lack motivation. And focus.

Focus is something I need right now. In two days, Geoff leaves to head south for the summer and I need some projects to ward off the loneliness. Now would be a great time to prepare for a big event, if only I had one to work toward. I have some ideas, but nothing that really warrant the necessary vacation time or expense. I was thinking of embarking on a fast tour somewhere, but do I really want to burn a week of vacation to spend more time by myself? Lower 48 races are out of my league. Southeast Alaska has almost nothing to offer. I browsed the local bike club site today and found a bunch of 12-mile time trials and short mountain bike races on Saturday afternoons, when I'm at work.

I already have plans to head up to Whitehorse for the 24 Hours of Light, on June 28. But I'm torn about how to train for this race. For starters, I'm tempted to join a noncompetitve team of four or eight because I know I'll have so much more fun that way. But I'm also interested in riding a hard 24 Solo and really trying to push myself. It's a little silly, however, to attempt a 24 Solo in event like the 24 Hours of Light. If I'm riding laps the whole time, I'll completely miss out on the mountain bike festival atmosphere, which is the best part of that event. I'm also likely to have little to no competition. I "won" last year's solo race by beating out the only other solo woman 13 laps to 4 laps - and I stopped and partied for the whole second half of the race. It's probably going to be kind of hard to motivate for those 4 a.m. laps when I'm 10 laps ahead of the second-place competitor and there's no Geoff there to cheer me on, because he's out in Colorado somewhere doing something much more difficult.

I'm just drifting a little right now, and I don't have any great ideas.