Maah Daah Hey Trail, days 3 and 4

I love living outside. It's an interesting kind of love, because I don't really go camping all that often any more. Truth be told, I can be downright lazy about the prospect of shoring up the gear, food, water and logistics necessary to live on the trail. I can be intimidated by long days under the hot sun, possible hours in the rain and nights curled up in a damp sleeping bag with a chilled wind whipping through my tiny backpacker tent. I'm discouraged by the fact that, no matter how diligent I am about sunscreen, I will return home with lips so chapped they're bleeding, wind-dried eyes and pink patches of sunburned skin; that no matter how much clothing I carry, I will at times be deeply chilled or uncomfortably wet; that no matter how much DEET I bathe in, the bugs will find me. But sometimes, through serendipity or necessity, I forget all that, and I get out there anyway. Every time, without fail, I find myself rolling out my damp sleeping bag beneath a star-soaked sky and smiling at the beautiful simplicity of it all.

In the midst of our relaxed evenings in camp, my friends and I once found ourselves discussing "dream vehicles." For many in the group, it was some kind of RV, big truck or van — something you could use to travel around and serve as living quarters away from home. When pressed, I insisted that I have no interest in big flashy vehicles. In fact, I want the smallest, most insignificant vehicle possible — my 1996 Geo Prism came to mind — that I can just leave without concern at random roadsides and set out for weeks on foot to actually travel, to actually live outside. When pressed further I finally just decided that, actually, bicycles are my ideal vehicle. You can pack everything you need to live on a bicycle and travel to far-away destinations, experiencing everything the world has to offer in between.

But it's true that lately, I've deviated from pure bicycle explorations and become more interested in what the world looks like on foot. The requisite shuttle around the Little Missouri River (flowing at flood stage) turned out to be a 96-mile van ride all the way back into Medora, across the Interstate bridge and back to other side of the river a mere 10 trail miles from where we took out. The logistics of gravel roads and trail intersections led to us being dropped off eight miles from where we planned to camp that night. Everyone else in the group decided to indulge in the relief of a relative rest day. (Even though we were only traveling about 20-25 miles each day, the trail conditions usually resulted in five to six hours of solid effort, more than most of us had bargained for.) I decided to take advantage of the short day to pack my bike back in the van and set out for a long run. When everyone headed north toward camp, I turned south toward the river.

The sky was clear and the direct sunlight on white-baked clay made the 75-degree afternoon feel quite a bit hotter. My legs felt strong despite two long days in a row (five hours of biking plus two hours of running.) I took fast strides along the rim and dropped off the plateau into the wide valley of Little Missouri River, hoping to connect the missing link of the trail (my run the day before had taken me within two miles of the river.) The valley bottom had been saturated by recently receded flood waters, and the surface varied from wet mud to grass swamps to nearly un-walkable bogs. It certainly wasn't fast or easy running, but I enjoyed the adventure. At mile four, I came to a fast-flowing, potentially neck-deep waterway called Whitetail Creek. I waded in and quickly sank to my knees, then decided to turn around. The river was still nowhere in sight. I expressed silent gratitude for Dakota Cyclery and their efforts to whisk us around this partially collapsed, mud-bogged, half-drowned and undoubtedly dangerous section of the Maah Daah Hey.

I felt good for the 12 miles back up the plateau and into camp, so I refilled on water and announced I was setting out to make it an even 20. A half mile down the trail, I came to another waist-deep stream I just didn't feel like crossing, so I veered up to an oil rig access road and put in three miles of slogging hill repeats at the end of a four-hour run. Silly, I agree, but it just felt good to complete a full 20-mile run.

Day four was a long day, 26 miles, and to top it off, we woke up (again, frustratingly early) to 30 mph winds gusting to as much as 55 mph. I'd already warned the group about the deep stream crossing first thing in the morning, and combined with the unknown terrain ahead and fact they had to travel 26 miles no matter what, everyone was anxious to get out of there. I was barely out of bed by the time half of the group was grinding up the trail, and with Dave and Ryan, I was the last to pack up and go just after 8 a.m. The wind was thankfully favorable, blowing from the south, but that didn't stop the battering from crosswind and headwind gusts on the winding trail. I cranked hard to catch up with the group and didn't even pass the runners until mile 6.5.

Despite two days of wind and sun, the trail was still gooey and bikes were beginning to protest loudly. My Rocky Mountain Altitude (generously loaned to me by Keith) had a bar on the seat stay that collected mud and stopped the rear wheel from turning on a regular basis. Despite multiple lubes, my chain seemed to dry out in seconds and the entire drivetrain squeaked and groaned with increasingly volume. Since it wasn't my bike and nearly new to boot, I tried as hard as I could to keep it out of water and really wet mud, but still the hubs and bearings were beginning to make strange noises. Dave is a talented mechanic and even he couldn't anticipate a realistic solution short of pulling everything apart, deep cleaning and replacing several pieces. "Let's just limp these bikes to the end," he said.

We were only seven miles from the finish when we came to a trail junction, the Maah Daah Hey Trail or the newer Cottonwood Trail. Dakota Cyclery had highly recommended Cottonwood and Dave and Brenda remembered it as being fun, so we set out that way thinking we might be able to wrap up the ride in an hour. Our bikes were mud-battered, we were wind-battered, and I think everyone just wanted to be done. I expected a focused hammerfest. But the Cottonwood Trail dished out something else entirely.

That is, what was left of the Cottonwood Trail. What hadn't been completely stomped out by cows or washed away at the valley bottoms had tumbled off the hillsides. Entire sections with multiple switchbacks had crumbled. Tree-protected section of singletrack were bogged in shin-deep mud.

The Cottonwood Trail was slow riding at its best, hike-a-bike if we were lucky, and bike-carrying frequently. The runners passed us, smirking just a little as they hopscotched the cow postholes while we trudged with our bikes along the grassy sideslope. "This is why they call it adventure biking," Dave said, and I grinned.

Yet another section of completely washed-out trail. The singletrack once went straight toward that post. Now it simple drops clean off a 25-foot-deep unstable trench. We had to bushwhack the long way around the gorge.

In spite of my efforts to soft-pedal when I could pedal, my chain continued to become caught in unworkable ways. Even when I set my gears in a workable singlespeed and vowed to no longer shift, I'd whisk some brush or bounce hard along the cow postholes and get chainsuck again. Eventually, I sustained such an epic chainsuck that Dave had to pull the crank to alleviate the jam. My bike was officially beginning to fail.

Still, those final miles of trail were absolutely gorgeous, my favorite of the entire trip, and I was OK with the prospect of taking it even slower. Luckily, I did keep my chain spinning even though I still had to drag my bike down more landslides and around more washouts. My favorite part of the day's ride happened two miles from the finish, when Ryan and I climbed up onto a narrow rim and shot down the other side with the 35-mph wind directly at our backs. Suddenly the loud roaring world turned completely silent as we rocketed down the grassy slope in perfect harmony with the wind, hair whipping and tears streaming as the canyon bottom spread out below us. As it turned out, we weren't even on the right trail. We had taken a wrong turn, and by the time we realized it, we had to turn and ride more than a mile back into that same hard wind. It was unbelievably slow and difficult, but worth it.

In the end, it took nearly three hours to cover that seven-mile Cottonwood Trail. An adventure indeed. We had to wait for the shuttle for more than two hours. There was nowhere else to hide from the increasingly chilly and powerful wind, so we ended up huddling against the campground outhouse (i.e. "North Dakota Hilton") napping and watching for snakes in the grass. That night, I would end up taking the midnight shift on the rainy drive into Lewistown, Montana, where we took badly needed showers, scraped away four days worth of hardened mud and salt from our bodies, and then crashed out for four hours before continuing onto Calgary the next day to catch my flight to San Jose. A lot of travel, but again, worth it. There's the easy and practical sides of life, and then there's exploring a remote corner of North Dakota for four days with good friends. It's like living outside — difficult to transition to and from, but worth it.

Maah Daah Hey Trail, days 1 and 2

It was my first non-race, non-training-related, honest-to-goodness mountain bike tour in nine years. My friends who didn't know me back then hardly believe me when I tell them about the time I rode the 100-mile White Rim Trail in Utah over three days and nights, truly struggling to finish each day's 33-mile ride and eating massive Dutch oven dinners at night. Some were equally confused about my reasons for embarking on a trip to North Dakota to ride the Maah Daah Hey trail over four days. North Dakota is one of those prairie states (i.e. boring and flat), and aren't four days an awful long time to travel a mere 96-or-something miles on a bike? Well, maybe, yes, but that was really the point — a nice, relaxed camping trip with friends. Not everything I do needs to be filed away as "epic" or "training for epic." That's not who I've become in the nine years since I dropped into the White Rim with zero experience or training. I can still kick back with the best of them.

And it was a fun group to kick back with — my good friends from Banff, and their friends from Calgary and Canmore and British Columbia. There were eight mountain bikers and two runners. Sharon and Percy were out for their first vacation without children in seven years. Michelle had completed an Ironman but claimed to have not been on a mountain bike since 1993. Ryan was a professional photographer who hammered the steep climbs so he could set up his equipment for shots from the top. Dave and Brenda were the trip organizers, and the only ones who had ridden the trail before. I was the only American, the one who found myself explaining the conundrums of health insurance and fumbling through kilometer and Celsius conversions in my own country.

Dave and Brenda set up a shuttle service with Dakota Cyclery, who ferried all of our supplies gear to each day's destination so we could carry almost nothing and eat fresh produce and meat for dinner. Brenda and Dave planned this trip six months ago, having no idea that the winter that followed would bring beyond-record snowfall, floods and heavy rains. The Little Missouri grasslands were inundated and the bentonite soil had been reduced to a sticky, generally unrideable version of wet cement. The owners of Dakota Cyclery didn't outright discourage us from embarking on the trip, but they did make it abundantly clear that if we chose to set out, we might not make it very far. Since trail damage was not a concern (bikes have nothing on the elevated rate of erosion in the badlands), we decided we had traveled too far to not at least try.

We had to completely rearrange our trip plan, starting from town rather than the north end of the trail, and set up an extra shuttle to ferry everyone around the reportedly uncrossable (10 feet deep and rising) Little Missouri River. Heavy clouds hung over the moist grasslands and patches of snow from a recent blizzard clung to the hillsides. All of my more epic mountain biking experiences have led me to fear sticky mud over all other conditions, and I was admittedly a little bit nervous. Maybe we were embarking on an epic after all.

The narrow trail was soft and sticky, but not enough to stop wheels from turning. Still, there were a surprising number of knee-deep streams to cross, and a lot of extra weight to haul as the mud clung to wheels and frames. But what was even more surprising to me was the variability of the terrain. I expected rolling grasslands, similar to the kind I had once pedaled through in the Sand Hills of Nebraska. I knew there'd be badlands as well, but I didn't anticipate the deep gorges, multicolored rock and otherworldly formations that peppered this little-known corner of the northern Midwest.

Of course, there was plenty of prairie, too, which is what makes the Maah Daah Hey so unique. The trail drops into rugged canyons as colorful and uniquely formed as a Utah desert drainage, then rises into hills carpeted in grass and flowers beneath an expansive Midwestern sky. Not to mention it's nearly 100 miles of continuous singletrack, a rare thing indeed. It's not often that bike-friendly singletrack can actually be used to go anywhere. That's one reason I'm surprised there haven't been more efforts to "race" the Maah Daah Hey.

It was a chilly day, with moderate winds and temperatures in the high 40s. I felt cold all day despite several winter layers, probably because I am used to continuous efforts rather than the stop-and-go of casual group riding.

The stops were enjoyable, though, and the scenery was continuously surprising and gorgeous.

And the best part — we had it all to ourselves. Western North Dakota is wide-open and sometimes vastly empty, a beautiful kind of space to explore in the modern world. The Dakota Cyclery owners assured us we were the first group on the Maah Daah Hey trail this season, and were likely the first people to through-travel the trail since the harsh winter ravaged the region. This fact made us feel a little bit like explorers — like the Lewis and Clark nostalgia that saturates this region — setting out to discover a trail that might just take us all the way through to the other side.

Leslie and Angela were in good spirits, having set out with the intention of running a trail marathon a day for four days straight and moving at about the same average speed as the mountain bikers. They were able to start at the actual beginning of the Maah Daah Hey Trail through the Theodore Roosevelt National Park. Since bikes aren't allowed in national parks, a different trail diverts cyclists 14 miles around it before the two rejoin.

I had a chance to venture into the national park on my evening run. The mountain biking was for fun. The running was because I actually do need to train for the Tahoe Rim Trail Race. Doing both on the same day proved to be a lot of fun ... and difficult. I ran ten miles on day one. It was farther than I originally planned. As soon as the trail entered the national park, it climbed along a narrow rim above sweeping, Grand-Canyon-like views of the colorful badlands. I was swept with an invigorating sense of euphoria, and felt stronger with each passing mile. Just over five miles in, I came across a massive bull bison grazing next to the trail. The ridge dropped off steeply on both sides and there was no easy way to get around him, so I felt I had no choice but to turn around. It was just as well, because I already had been out nearly an hour and stood a chance of missing dinner (I did, but luckily my friends saved me a couple of burritos.)

Day two began infuriatingly early. I discovered that not only was I the only American in the group, I was also the only night owl. Morning people just don't seem to believe me when I say that I don't feel tired at night, no matter how early I woke up in the morning, and it's often an impossible struggle to fall asleep before midnight. The sun set around 8:30 p.m. and everyone was generally in bed by nine. I passed time by wandering around camp trying to find pockets of cell-phone reception, reading the one copy of the Bismark Tribune I brought with me, and listening to rationed minutes on my iPod. I begged my friends to let me miss breakfast, but they still roused me by 7 a.m., half-packed and ready to go before the sun even hit the tents.

So I usually felt sluggish and crappy until the ride was nearly over, but at least the sun came out on the second day. We also started to see the first signs of spring — patches of green grass, song birds, and flowers. Most of the hillsides were still gray and brown, but new color was emerging at an astonishing rate.

The early starts also gave me plenty of time for my afternoon run, although I did also have to race the early dinner times (my friends are certainly going to razz me for whining when they read this, but it is truly difficult to adjust your usual sleeping and eating routines just because you're on vacation.) On day two I set out to explore a section of trail we would have to miss because of our requisite river shuttle. About three and a half miles from camp, I came across a massive landslide that stripped the hillside in two chunks and devoured at least a quarter mile of trail.

Suddenly struck by a sense of adventure, I decided to pick my way across it and see how long it took to get to the other side. The slide happened recently enough that the mud was still very soft and wet. If I planted my foot in the wrong spot, I would instantly sink to my knees or worse. I nearly lost a shoe several times and once had a frighteningly difficult time extracting my buried leg from the sludge. Still, I was determined to find a way across the quagmire. I veered down to the toppled trees and picked by way through the brush, being very careful to stay out of the leg-sucking mud. After about 20 minutes of struggle, I managed to reach the other side and travel two more miles before turning around to take a similar route back. I returned to camp to tell my friends what my scouting trip revealed, and let them know we were very, very fortunate that we didn't have to ferry bikes through this spot.

I just barely made dinner on day two, and was starting to feel a bit guilty for sleeping through breakfast prep and then running through dinner prep, essentially doing nothing for the group. I took up dish duty in a feeble effort to make up for my absences, but it reminded me how accustomed I've become to individual efforts over group vacations. I generally would rather throw together a few hastily prepared sandwiches and give myself more time to ride, run and sit by the fire than go to the effort of preparing big meals. But I was certainly grateful to partake in the spoils of the delicious meals, and grateful to my friends for putting up with my shenanigans.

At sunset, Percy and I climbed up to the top of the plateau to catch a full view of sunset. We were richly rewarded for the third and final physical effort of the day. I sat in the grass for more than a half hour, peacefully content and filled with a satisfying sense of bliss. Whether I'm struggling to finish a 100-mile snow run or relaxing in the midst of a mellow bike tour, these are ultimately the rewards I'm seeking. I was in love with the quietness of North Dakota, happy to simply be there, at that simple but perfect moment.

That's Banff

Ah, Banff. What would my life have become without it? Leslie, Keith and I still joke about what might have been if I had never started the Tour Divide in June 2009. I came close, so close, to backing out. I remember standing with my bike box at the Salt Lake airport thinking, "Should I do this? Do I really want to do this? I remember holding my phone in my hands and nearly calling my parents to return and take me home. But then I didn't. I got on that plane, and set the rest of my life in motion. I arrived in Banff and met Keith and Leslie, the catalyst for so many adventures since. I finished the Tour Divide, prompting a perspective shift without which I probably wouldn't have left Juneau, which means I never would have moved to Missoula, which means I wouldn't have met Danni (who Keith introduced me to), so then I would have never met Beat. Speaking of Beat, I miss him. The only sad thing about Banff is that he couldn't be here this time around.

Today, Keith and I rode from Lake Louise to Bow Summit on the Icefields Parkway ... about 50 miles round trip. Keith let me ride one of his beautiful Rocky Mountain carbon road bikes. If I were a gear-inclined person I might even remember the make and model, but unfortunately I do not. I do know it rides smooth and is so feather-light that I could fit two and a half of these sweet babies inside my Pugsley. I still maintain that, for the most part, bikes are bikes and what matters most is that they take you where you want to go in the way you want to go there ... but I am starting to understand why roadies love their sport.

Here are some pictures from the Icefields Parkway. It was a gorgeous ride. I secretly wanted to pedal the whole 230 km to Jasper, but I didn't want to impose that kind of a dare on my friend Keith, who between work and prepping for this North Dakota trip had enough to worry about.

Wide-open views and skiable snow at 6,000 feet. Had I known what the mountain snowpack was like right now, I might have pressed for a snowshoe outing to a high peak over road biking. But the riding was plenty fun.

This place is OK, I guess.

Even at 50+ miles, the ride was quite relaxed and almost effortless. We had a strong tailwind on the climb, which did translate to a harsh headwind upon descent - but we also had 2,000 feet of elevation to lose. The wind was strong and the downhill grades were gentle, but they were no match for light bikes and legs fueled by warm air, empowering scenery and a summit Twix Bar. I felt great. Keith will probably be annoyed at me for saying so, but I kinda felt like we had motorbiked 50 miles rather than pedaled.

We still wrapped it up in 3:14 even with multiple photo stops and our 20-minute Twix Bar break. As promised, Keith delivered lots of beautiful white snow. I'm a happy Californian.

After the road ride, I still had lots of energy so I decided to tackle Sulphur Mountain. I've climbed Sulphur at least once every time I've visited Banff, which for the record has been seven visits since June 2009. I've climbed this mountain beneath a splash of stars on a zero-degree evening in January. I've climbed in on hot summer afternoons in June and July. I've climbed it with runners on freshly packed snow in November. Today, I got to see it in its spring glory. Conditions were less than ideal. Leslie referred to the trail as a "ribbon of doom," which was an adequate description. The slushy, rotten snowpack started right at the gate and continued amid a minefield morass of postholes. An oh-so-narrow ribbon of foot-packed snow wound through the bumpy slush garden, and even a tiny deviation off the trail would land me in an ankle-twisting posthole or thigh-deep snow.

I was determined to "run" this trail as fast as I physically (and safely) could. It's 3.25 miles and 2,500 feet of climbing. My all-time fastest uphill hike was 57 minutes, last August, when I was in TransRockies race shape and the trail was completely dry. Today I strapped on my microspikes and plunged my poles into the slush minefield, and I had to run - when I could. Sweat streamed down my face and soaked my cycling jersey and tights despite a 45-degree chill. Sometimes I floundered and punched hip-deep holes, or wallowed by choice to get around a handful of slower hikers. The trail hardened and conditions improved just as the grade really got steep, but still I fought and ran. It was not a fast run. I became upset when the speed on my GPS dropped below 20-minute miles. But I assure you I was working as hard as I physically could and still have enough left in the tank for the descent. My heart rate remained solidly above 170 the entire climb.

And the final result? Despite a quarter-mile dead sprint (on sun-exposed soft snow) I couldn't get in under an hour. 1:03. I was happy with my time. I sat down on a picnic table, watched golden sunlight fade behind the snow-capped Rocky Mountains, and enjoyed my last evening in Banff. Tomorrow we leave for the prairie. But I couldn't have planned a more perfect prelude.

Kananaskis Country

Even though it's my second (Canadian) home, my own custom version of paradise, I was reluctant to come all the way to Banff first. Of course, I've wanted to ride the Maah Dah Hey Trail ever since I heard of it. When my Canadian friends organized a group tour in mid-May, I signed on before I had even thought through a single logistic. I first considered driving, but then I moved away from Montana. I looked into flying, but Alaska Airlines doesn't land anywhere near western North Dakota (although it might be fair to say that there really are no airports or even towns in western North Dakota.)

My friend Keith told me I should just come to Banff first, and drive down with them. "Fine," I thought to myself. "I will fly from San Jose to Calgary, with a three-hour layover in Seattle and another hour-long wait in customs, then drive an hour and a half from Banff to pack up the car and embark on a 14-hour horizon-line pavement odyssey across the prairie just to cross back over the border so I can ride a borrowed mountain bike in the middle of nowhere.

"Come a couple days early," Keith urged. "It's the off-season now but we'll find something fun to do. We'll go road riding! You like road riding now, right?"

I do like road riding and I do love Banff, but do I love it enough for what essentially adds up to 24 hours of travel, each way? "Fine," I said, "but only if you can promise me some snow. I miss it already."

"Not a problem," Keith said. "It's full-on spinter right now. I think today is January 125th."

So I flew to Canada, and inadvertently brought California with me. Late last week Keith reported six inches of fresh powder. By Tuesday morning, I awoke to 70 degrees, windless warm air, and not a cloud in the sky. Keith and I rode downtown for coffee and the streets were alive with people wearing shorts, sitting on outdoor benches, smiling in the sun. Friends gushed about "the first day of spring." I tried to hide my disappointment that I wasn't even going to be able to break out my arm warmers. "What can I say?" I replied. "Canada always puts on its best face when I come here. You're welcome."

Keith and I left town well after noon to embark on a road tour of Kananaskis Valley. Temperatures were warm, winds were light and traffic was nonexistent. The scenery was of course unconscionably incredible. Pure bikey heaven.

The Kananaskis Lakes. I believe this is the upper lake, still frozen in mid-May. As beautiful and summery as it was outside, evidence of the cold, hard winter was everywhere. The elk and deer were particularly scrawny. Mountain slopes billowed with powder and several feet of slush and ice lined the roads. Buds and leaves were still a distant dream.

And then there was this discovery - a point where the road crosses the Great Divide Mountain Bike Route at the Elk Pass trailhead. There was at least two feet of packed snow across the entire trail, at the bottom of the pass (the pass itself is about 1,200 feet higher.) And Elk Pass is just the first of dozens of higher passes across Canada, Montana, Wyoming and Colorado on the GDMBR. The Tour Divide starts in a month. And of course a lot can happen in a month, but something tells me this year's race is going to be particularly interesting to watch.

We wrapped up an awesome 55-mile ride with a lynx sighting.

Then home for a town tour on the tandem with Leslie, followed by sushi. Worth the trip? Without a doubt. And I still have one more day in Banff.

The writing process

In the winter of 2009-2010, I sat down to relive my vivid and often emotional journey surrounding my bike tour from Banff to Mexico during the 2009 Tour Divide. I usually came home from work around 11:30 p.m., fed my cat, made myself a peanut butter sandwich, and sprawled out on my bedroom floor in front of my tiny netbook computer. I often stayed up typing until 3:30 or 4 in the morning, and then I'd get up the next morning at 9 or 10, briefly peek outside into the white and gray morning, close my blinds to shut out the already minimal light trickling in from Alaska's winter sky, and type until I had to go to work at 2. If the morning was slightly more inviting I would go for a bike ride, and on my day(s) off I would occasionally venture outside my weird hermit lifestyle to visit friends. They'd ask me what I'd been doing and I'd shrug. "I've been .... sick." And to be honest, I felt sort of sick. My outdoor adventures and physical exercise had fallen by the wayside. I was one-track steamrolling through that book. Working on it brought a wash of intense memories and it was often the best part of my day. I took this strange and uncharacteristic behavior as a sign that I needed to make a major change in my life.

That's the short story about how my Tour Divide book came to be written. The major change I decided to make was to quit my job in Juneau and move to Anchorage to further pursue this project and perhaps start up another writing project. With the fun part all done, though, I was loathe to deal with the tedious work of analyzing and editing my text. I read a dozen books on the traditional publishing market and set to rework my simple adventure memoir into an elaborate book proposal package, which I modified, personalized and sent to six carefully researched agents. Four got back to me. Two weren't interested. Two requested my manuscript. One said he was intrigued but was unable to take on new clients for at least another six to eight months, and left it up to me to get back to him. Another gave me particularly positive feedback. She seemed very genuinely interested in representing me and asked me to send her my "platform" for further consideration.

Platform? I had a simple story; I didn't have a tell-all celebrity expose or amazing new diet or analysis on the war in Afghanistan, or anything one would normally associate with a focused marketing platform. I had already grown weary of the whole tedious process and applied for a new job in Montana that I was almost certain I was going to land. It had suddenly become a bad time to be mired in a big book promotion blitz. So, grasping at a meager hope that the word had suddenly come to mean something different than what I had studied, I asked her to be more specific. The response was both expected and discouraging. "How will you promote your book? How are you going to reach out to your audience? What networks are you a part of? What speaking engagements can you line up? Do you have resources for a potential book tour? Etc." I had dabbled in self-promotion two years earlier with "Ghost Trails," and was already starting to wonder what traditional publishers even offered beyond editing, printing and a stamp of approval. Since modern digital publishing and networking make editing and printing easy commodities to obtain, I was beginning to resent what seemed like an awful lot of work for a simple stamp of approval. With her assertion that I'd be responsible for essentially all book promotions, even the potential funding of them, the agent confirmed that all of my time and efforts could only achieve that one thing - a stamp of approval from an established publishing company. And not even a guaranteed one. "Screw that," I thought. "I'd rather have a job." I put the Tour Divide book back on the shelf. I never even wrote the agent back. Dropped one ball and burned one bridge. I did not consider it a loss.

The book industry ... ugh. I was glad to leave that dream behind. I did not want to be a professional author for the same reasons I would never want to be a professional cyclist (even if I had the talent to do so.) Writing and riding are things I do because they're fun, they're fulfilling, they're challenging, and because they soothe my mind, nudge me out of my comfort zone, and ultimately reward me with a solid sense of well-being. Trying to leverage activities that bring personal joy and fulfillment for profit brings up too many unsavory (if necessary) duties. When I left Anchorage for my new job in Montana, I decided that even if things hadn't turned out they way they did, I would rather work a blue-collar drudgery job and write and ride for fun than write for a living. In December, I had my book edited and gave more serious consideration to publishing, but I really had too much going on to deal with it.

But then life continued to happen, and despite my efforts to renew my convictions, the dream continued to smolder. When I came to California, I decided it would be fun to try to write again, even if just for a while. I could always get that random job later. So I sat down again. I tried to close the blinds against the warm California sun that threatened to lure me outside. I took a few article assignments, received a few small paychecks, generated a few intriguing project ideas. But I couldn't focus on anything. I certainly couldn't write. That Tour Divide book was still looming on the shelf, like a discarded gift box begging to be reopened. I wondered if maybe, just maybe, I had no choice but to move that project forward.

(to be continued. I'm actually at the Seattle airport awaiting a flight to Calgary that's just about to board. I'm headed back to Banff for a week of mountains, snow-lined scenic highways, and mountain biking on the Maah Dah Hey Trail in North Dakota. As with most things I do, this blog post is running longer than intended. But I'll write more on this soon. All photos in this post are from runs with Beat and friends on Mission Peak and Black Mountain this past weekend.)

Views from Skyline

Wow, this week really got away from me. I have been one-track focused on moving forward with publishing my book. I'm glad to have finally made a decision on the matter (and I'll blog more on the details soon), but being mired in the logistics of it has left me more than a little fuzzy-headed. It's been a beautiful (hot) week and I've hardly even been outside. This afternoon, I just had to get out. I rode Beat's Calfee up Highway 9 and turned south on Skyline Boulevard, which was new territory for me. I was all business going up Highway 9, but as soon as I turned south, I lost all intensity and focus and just gawked at the scenery and smiled in the sun. I truly am a bike tourist at heart. Luckily, there is a lot of territory up there to explore, both on pavement and dirt roads, as well as fantastically extensive singletrack running routes. Someday soon I am going to ride a huge road loop that traverses the Santa Cruz Mountains twice. Then I am going link up as much dirt as I can legally piece together with my mountain bike, all the way to the sea. Yeah for bike touring!

Skyline does make it hard to keep the focus on training. Lots of open mountain views and a beautiful layer of fog over the Pacific.

Smooth, narrow pavement with lots of climbing and almost no cars.

More views. I stopped for a little Honey Stinger Chews break at this spot, but had to peel myself away and turn around before I lost too much elevation and really let the ride run long. Ended with 40 miles and 5,000 feet of climbing. Can't wait to double or triple that!