Sunday, October 06, 2019

Lucky 13


Dad and I first crossed the Grand Canyon together in 2004, when I was 25 and he was 51 years old. In one of those mundane yet still-jarring realizations, I acknowledged that someday, not all that long from now, I'll be the same age as he was then ... if I'm lucky. If I'm even luckier, we may still be planning a fall Grand Canyon crossing for that year. It's not outside the realm of possibility. Although he has his share of somewhat odd health setbacks and accident-related injuries — a genetic legacy I reluctantly carry — he seems as likely to become a spry 77-year-old as I am a capable 51-year-old. And I really want this tradition to continue. It doesn't get old — gazing across the Grand Canyon, or crossing its main corridor on an always-unpredictable autumn day with my dad.


It goes without saying, how much I admire my dad, but I'm not sure I've really said it here before. He raised three girls, working hard for a single-income household so my mom could stay at home. We enjoyed an idyllic childhood with lots of love and regular family vacations and important traditions. Things have never been all that difficult or contentious in our immediate family, even when I made a choice to diverge from some of those traditions. For this I am grateful. Dad was always athletic, but he picked up hiking in force when I was 13 or 14 years old, which would have made him about my age now, 40. I wasn't yet 15 when he started inviting me to join his hiking group on shorter jaunts, and about to turn 16 when he accompanied me up my first big mountain, Timpanogos. I remember having the sorest legs and terrible heel blisters, but it was a formative experience — one of a handful of truly life-changing moments I count from my youth.


Dad was able to retire a few years back, and some people close to him questioned how someone so healthy and relatively young could step away from his career. What was he going to do for the rest of his life? His reply — "What I want to do." I think I admire him most for this. He doesn't need validation or ambition to stay vibrant. He simply wants to experience life at its brightest edges, and ride the exhilarating waves through every crest and trough. I think it helps that this is all I want from life, too. He worked hard, planned well and earned his freedom to wake up whenever his sleep-challenged body has had enough rest, and set out for a day-long ramble through mountains he has lived near for most of his life.

 As with all traditions, life happens and we've missed some years in the past 15. I crunched the numbers because as usual I'd forgotten but was curious about how many crossings we've shared. Including the doubles of 2015 and 2016, this year was my 13th rim-to-rim with Dad. This was a lower-key year where we'd spend fewer than 24 hours in the park, and cross our favored route from south to north on the Kaibab trails. Because room reservations have become so difficult to obtain, our trip has skewed earlier in recent years, from mid-October to late-September. This usually means hotter weather, and I was braced for the worst, having lost any heat acclimation while in Europe.

 We were joined this year by Chad, one of Dad's original hiking buddies. We set out at first light, in pleasantly mild weather with a temperature near 40 and a light breeze. As rich morning light saturated the layered expanse of sandstone and sky, I smirked at the memory of how unsettled I used to feel while gazing across the chasm. Before our first crossing in 2004, I trained specifically all summer so I'd been in prime condition. I greatly feared the prospect of faltering during the long climb out and disappointing my dad. I barely slept the night before the hike, because I was so nervous. It was a huge undertaking. Now, I'm not even sure I'd rank the rim-to-rim in my top five toughest outings since my birthday fourteeners, six weeks earlier.

Much about this trip has become routine, but the views are still as awe-inspiring as ever. Still, as I was packing my little running vest with minimal supplies, I wavered on bringing my camera. I mean, I love photos, and I take thousands of them even on my most mundane running routes near home. But would I even have anything new to share about the Grand Canyon? This feels like a trail everyone has traveled and views everyone has seen, in locations I've already documented a dozen times now. I tend to forget how special this place is at all times, and how unique every crossing can be.

 On this morning, amid ideal temperatures, all of the confidence of 15 years, and lots of leg pep and energy, the friendly skies opened up for some stunning magic light. Everything felt as perfect as it could possibly be.

 Sadly, about two miles in, there was a bout of bad luck as Chad rolled his ankle and fell forward onto the trail. It's strange, really, that out of a dozen crossings that involve both Dad and myself, there hasn't been an injury on this trip yet. It's even stranger that the first occurrence didn't happen to one of us. Chad is a talented runner and mountaineer who rarely has such mishaps, but he got unlucky. He wrapped his swollen ankle and walked for another quarter mile before deciding his injury was untenable for a full crossing. I was lucky to find the one spot of cell phone reception in the canyon, and was able to get ahold of my mom, who was preparing to drive around to the other side and pick us up. So Chad was able to hike out and get a ride without drama, only disappointment. 

 Dad and I continued deeper into the canyon, where the shadow and light continued to inspire. We didn't do a lot of talking on this year's trip — Dad and I are a lot alike, and if you put the two of us alone together, there probably won't be an overwhelming exchange of spoken words. He seemed as content as I felt, but I did worry that he might be in more pain than he was letting on. For the past few weeks he's experienced sharp pain in his upper leg, near his hamstrings. When Dad complains about pain, I know it's bad, but he claimed he only felt it when bending over or sitting for long periods of time. While hiking, he felt much better. A few days later he would be diagnosed with a bulging disc impacting the nerve in his right leg.

 He's now trying conservative treatments, and hopefully they will work. But a bulging disc can be terribly painful; it's impressive he managed a Grand Canyon crossing with this issue. I thought back to something Dad shared with me while I was still in high school, about meeting a 68-year-old man on the knife ridge below the Pfeifferhorn in the Wasatch Mountains. He marveled at the man's strength and hoped he could still move so well at that age. At the time I could not picture my dad as a 68-year-old man. It really won't be long, now.

 Dad's nerve pain seemed to stay away, and we moved at a steady clip past Phantom Ranch and through the box canyon towering over Bright Angel Creek. Even on cool days, this spot is often an oven. But the morning cloud cover remained, and temperatures stayed stunningly mild for September. I don't think it was ever much hotter than 70 degrees.

We planned our usual lunch spot at Ribbon Falls, a mile-long diversion from the main trail. Signs at Phantom Ranch indicated the bridge was out, so we cut across the canyon early and made our way through a tangle of tamarisk and the creek crossing. My Dad and I make a humorous team when it comes to off-trail navigating, but he found a way across and did not get his feet wet. I was not so lucky, but then again I was mostly worried about falling on my bad wrist, so I was not really trying.

 The sun stayed away for most of the day, but it came out briefly at lunch time, just long enough to provide a warm spot to sit on the rocks beside the falls, and enjoy the sparkle of cascading water over brilliant green moss.

 We continued up the canyon and caught a view of the broken foot bridge. It was really broken. I couldn't fathom the kind of flash flooding that would have to occur to cause that amount of damage to a sturdy bridge that had been in place for years, well before my first trip down the Canyon. I wondered if anyone was around to see it happen.

 Then it was just up and up and up, on this perfectly cool afternoon with continuing beautiful light at a relaxed but steady clip. We speculated on our fastest crossing, so of course I went home and combed through past data. This was our second-fastest trip since I started Strava'ing (2011), with a moving time of 7:31. Our fastest was the second crossing in 2016, but that included no faffing around to cross the stream or a side trip to Ribbon Falls. I have my good years and not-so-good years, but Dad seems to only become stronger — especially now that he spends so much of his time hiking. Someday we may end up on a R2R2R "run" of this canyon, but I mostly doubt it. Dad seems to be all about the love and the enjoyment, with only the tiniest bit of pride about performance. I think his friend Chad nearly has him talked into a 50K, though.

One of my favorite aspects of traditions is the way time seems to stand still within them. Here in the Grand Canyon, surrounded by the expanse of light and shadow, cliffs carved by millennia and changing before our eyes, I still feel like that 25-year-old in her cotton tank top and New Balance road shoes, eyes wide and heart fluttering. I have no doubt I'll feel the same when I'm 50, if I make it that far. 
Tuesday, October 01, 2019

Jochpass to Bierstadt

Our three days in Valais was a magnificent crescendoing finale to this year's Alpine étude, and I probably should have left it that way. But I was greedy. We climbed the Barrhorn and returned to Beat's mom's house via an unexpected train shuttle through a 17-kilometer tunnel and a three-hour drive on Friday. We were set to fly home from Geneva early Sunday. Saturday evening was reserved for an Italian restaurant dinner with Beat's brother and sister-in-law. But a few hours remained free on Saturday, and I was determined to cram in one more gorgeous Alpine mountain. I'd fixated on a particular route I had eyed earlier in the week, literally, when we climbed to a ridge on the other side of the basin. I could access this pass from the next valley over, out of a resort town called Engelberg. The route was only 11 miles with 4,500 feet of elevation gain. I set my time limit at seven hours, which included the projected 2.5 hours for the round-trip drive. 

Of course there was a crash in the bottleneck of tunnels through Lucerne that caused more than an hour of gridlock, so there were already 2.5 hours on the clock by the time I arrived in Engelberg. It was a long time to be trapped in the car during the morning hours, and my bladder was bursting at the seams. A row of tour busses had arrived minutes before me, and the line for the bathroom was at least 40 women deep. I tore around the cable car station as quickly as I could waddle, but there were no other options — only thicker crowds. Finally I just fired up my GPS, figuring I'd just start the hike and duck behind a tree en route. But the entire first 1.5 miles climbed along the fenced-in path beside open pastures, with signs at every turn warning in three languages to not litter and not trespass and "The nature is not a toilet." A whole steep uphill mile passed and I was still marching with my legs pressed together. By that point I figured I was going to end up soaking my pants and that would just have to be okay. Finally, nearly a thousand vertical feet above the village, I found a discrete enough cluster of trees where no one was around. Once I was done, I heard a buzzing sound and realized my backside was only about a foot away from an active electric fence. Ga! 

I was certain I wouldn't have time to reach the pass at this point, but I hiked as hard as my tired and sore legs would carry me. It was a beautiful day, and the quiet trail now winding through forest was a welcome relief from the traffic and crowds and pee-panic. I decided I could "run" downhill to shave time and went for it, eyeing my watch closely and buzzing with adrenaline as I marched. I often do these casual solo trips with some sort of tight deadline to chase, and I think I prefer to recreate this way. Racing is fun.

The summit was a lovely spot called Jochpass. I enjoyed a delicious sandwich of fresh Swiss bread and cheese (I'm going to miss this) and began my race downhill. To shave distance, I set out along a ski hill access road that was more direct than the trail, and also incredibly steep. You see something that's a road on a map and think it will be reasonable, but this road was a direct fall-line cut into at least a 30-percent grade, littered with loose ball-bearing rocks and sand. I shuffled as best as I could until I hit a large stone slab hidden under a thin layer of sand, where I started to slide. The grade was steep enough that it wasn't inconceivable to assume I'd just keep sliding all of the way down the mountain. With instinctual panic, I reached backward to grab one of the boulders lining the road. My outstretched left hand landed hard on something sharp, followed by the rest of my body, which continued to slide down the sandy slab for another ten feet or so.


Slowing to a stop was the worst part. My hand throbbed with a fearsome pain, and at first I was afraid to look because I was convinced I'd find a piece of bone sticking out of my palm. Of course that initial shock of pain always fades quickly, and when I found the courage to peel off my padded glove, there wasn't even any blood. There was obvious swelling beginning to form around my wrist, so a sprain seemed likely. I popped two Aleve and carefully folded and stashed my trekking poles, because those weren't going to do anything for me anymore. Carefully I stood and continued downhill with my elbow cradled in the strap of my running vest — Kilian Hardrock 100 style — to immobilize the sore wrist as much as possible. The steep and loose terrain continued, and I had to take it slow, wincing as waves of pain continued to wash over me.


To make a long story shorter, my hand wasn't broken. Beat helped me wrap my wrist when I returned — after all that, still in plenty of time to make our dinner reservation, although I absent-mindedly ordered pizza, and then had to commit a European dining sin by asking the server to slice it for me since I was unable to hold a knife. We flew home the following day. An international flight into the sprawling London Heathrow and Denver airports while in pain is never fun, but this one went as pleasantly and smoothly as possible. On Monday I went to see my doctor and had an X-ray, which showed no broken bones. At this point my wrist was quite swollen, and a dark bruise had formed around the base of my hand. My doctor speculated I had possibly bruised a bone and sprained my wrist, so I'm going with that. I've been in using a wrist brace since that doctor visit, which at this writing was two weeks ago, with continued improvements. But it sure is annoying to have an injured hand. I dealt with severe carpal tunnel syndrome and surgery recovery in my right hand for four months in 2016, and I started to feel like I was right back there: Hard to cut vegetables. Hard to drive. No riding bikes.


No bikes. Sigh. Instead I pulled "Allen" out of his rightful place in the back of the woodshed. Allen is a modified Allen Sports bike trailer that Beat turned into a cart which we can tow on dirt to mimic dragging a sled. ITI 2020 training has officially begun. I started with six gallons of water, which together with the weight of the cart equals about 60 pounds to haul up and down the gravel roads near my home. There are even disc brakes to add resistance, which turned my usual six-mile run from home into a truly mean, two-hour-plus power-lifting effort. My hamstrings were in shreds. I hate Allen, I really do. We're going to be spending lots of quality time together this fall and winter.

Finally the awful week of jet lag / hand pain / re-acclimating ended. By Wednesday I saw an opportunity to escape to Rocky Mountain National Park for a leaf-peeping tour. As it turned out, Sept. 25 was too early for autumn color even at the highest altitudes, but it was a beautiful morning nonetheless.

I climbed to the 12,720-foot summit of Hallett Peak, where it was shockingly cold and windy. All of the folks I passed on the way up retreated once they hit Flattop, so I had the entire wind-blasted plateau to myself.

I huddled behind the summit wind block, which didn't do much to stem the shocking chill, and used the completely numb fingers on my good hand to stuff down a lunch of Swiss Biberli pastries. Not the healthiest, but I was proud of the fact they'd been hauled over several Swiss mountains and across the Atlantic before they finally made it through the backpack food rotation here on Hallett Peak.

Below Hallett Peak, I followed the Tonahutu Creek Trail along the rim of this high plateau for a few miles, enjoying the muted crimson and gold hues across the tundra. This diversion continued for longer than I expected, because the frigid wind was still raging, and I expected I'd grow weary of it much sooner. But this wind was fierce and cold enough to chase all of the other humans away. I relished the solitude along this expansive moonscape that seemed to float over the forests and lakes down in the real world.

The side trip added to the already healthy effort I'd planned for the day, so what I ended with was a marathon distance with 7,000 feet of climbing. Long, higher-intensity and loaded hikes are going to be my bread and butter in training for the ITI, but spending a long block of time above 12,000 feet put me over the edge for fatigue. My shredded hamstrings were the victims of frequent muscle cramps. I was fairly wasted by mile 16, and continued to muddle along for another 10 miles. Much of this was descents that I'd planned to jog, but I couldn't coax my legs into a running motion — it was just too hard.

The pursuit of "forever fitness" — the ability to keep moving consistently and at a reasonably high level regardless of conditions and distance and time — remains an interesting journey. My path has ebbs and flows that rarely sense to me, but learning to accept the ebbs and commit to the goal in spite of them continues to be my most important lesson in endurance. It's not even about mental strength, really. It's about mental peace, a Zen-like outlook and spiritual transcendence of both body and mind. I found a calm contentedness — admittedly not much of a stretch on such a beautiful afternoon — and floated through the final miles.

The following morning I was heading to Salt Lake City to join my parents for our annual fall trip to the Grand Canyon. The commute always makes a great excuse for a little adventure, "to break up the drive," so I decided to tag a 14er, Mount Bierstadt. I committed to this idea the previous evening, but then woke up with a terrible headache (altitude? probably.) My injured wrist was sore, probably from swinging my arm briskly for 10 hours on Wednesday. For these and other reasons I did not feel up to the effort. I had the Grand Canyon to cross in two days, so it wasn't even necessarily a good idea to push the envelope. But this Zen-forward-motion technique is something I intend to continue working on this winter, so to Bierstadt I went.

I wish I could say I harnessed the Zen and burst through to the other side, but the whole 3.5 hours was a battle and a slog. 14,000 feet is still 14,000 feet. It hurts even when you're sitting down. The best part of the hike was the summit ridge, which was a class-two boulder field that I hadn't expected (Bierstadt is supposed to be the easiest 14er, so I guess I expected there to be an escalator to the top.) My hand was still sore enough that I didn't want to risk putting any pressure on it, so I managed the boulder field the way I dream of managing boulder fields, which is leaping between rocks on my two feet rather than oozing over them like a rock slug. Never mind that losing my balance and toppling off a car-sized boulder was going to be a lot more costly than balancing on a sore hand — the important part was that this didn't happen. I had so much fun with the rock hopscotch that I didn't notice the crushing altitude, for a short distance at least.

There was still eight more hours of driving to Salt Lake City, but I always feel so much better when I've put in a little time in the fresh (albeit thin) air, even if I don't feel so good during the respite. Mountains are usually worth it. Okay, they're always worth it. 
Thursday, September 19, 2019

... I suggest you keep looking

After wrestling with indecision for far too long, we found a final Euro-adventure to enjoy together — three days in the canton of Valais, meandering in the shadows of the highest peaks of Switzerland. We couldn't settle on one valley to concentrate our limited time, so we chose three. Since I dislike planning, I was grateful for a last-minute AirBnB find, a centrally-located apartment with all amenities in a lovely and quiet location for just $60 USD a night. We bought groceries and sandwiches, and the whole thing ended up being a fairly cheap excursion, relative to most trips one might do in Switzerland. 

Beat picked our first hike, a loop to Col des Otanes in the Bagnes valley. This adventure took us back to the southwestern corner of Switzerland and a pass Beat had crossed in past PTLs. My vertigo was a little worse this week than it had been in Chamonix — for what reasons, I don't know. I speculate that it's hormonal, the way some women get "the dropsies" once a month, but who knows? Sometimes I'm dizzier than other times, and since I never quite know how my brain will react, I'm wary of exposure at all times. The trail out of Fionnay was smooth and easy but precipitous, a notch carved into the side of cliffs with frequent sheer drop-offs and occasional one-foot-wide wooden plank bridges suspended over waterfalls. Beat was fascinated with the gorge below, insisting he scrambled over that chaotic moraine during the 2013 PTL. He kept stopping to scan for evidence a small bridge he swore he used to cross the chasm. Because I was directly behind him and having enough issues with vertigo that I was reluctant to look down, I eventually became angry about his erratic pace.

We took a short side trip to cross the suspension bridge over Corbassière — 190 meters long, 70 meters high, a marvel of Swiss construction. This bridge was completed in 2014, so it didn't exist the first time Beat was here with PTL, which is why they needed to pick their way all the way around the moraine. As we crossed back over the rippling platform, I made the mistake of looking down, which caused my vertigo to launch into overdrive. My vision wavered and leg muscles seemed to liquify, causing me to shamble drunkenly from side to side as I gripped the handrails for a welcome anchor in reality.

The familiar setting, or perhaps the promise of cake, seemed to put Beat into race mode. He charged up the switchbacks above the bridge. It was an exhausting effort to try to keep him in sight with my woozy and weakened legs. Slowly, the feel of solid ground restored solidity in my muscles.

We stopped at Cabane Panossière for their famous tarte aux amandes — not overrated. The weather was so mild that we didn't even need to don jackets to enjoy our treat on the terrace while gazing at Glacier de Corbassière and Grand Combin, an Alpine 14er (4,314 meters = 14,154 feet.) As we often describe to European friends, 4,000 meters holds a significantly different climate here than Colorado. We tell them we live at 2,200 meters and they're impressed — that would be a harsh location, above treeline and subject to cold and windy weather for most of the year, if it was in the Alps. But it's only 7,200 feet in Colorado, well within the protection of forests and blistering summer heat (but not free from 60mph winter winds.)

Treeline in the Alps is usually between 5,500 and 6,500 feet, depending on the aspect. Those beautiful grassy slopes that dominate the most famous Alpine scenes exist between 6,000 and 8,000 feet. Above 8,000 feet, terrain becomes increasingly rocky and rugged, and tundra replaces grass. By 9,000 feet even tundra plants fade, and above 9,500 the moonscape reigns. Still, at the 9,400-foot pass of Col des Otanes, I did find a cluster of small, daisy-like yellow flowers poking out from under a rock. Suck a lovely presence, those hardy little flowers. I would have taken a photo, but I didn't want my awkward shambling body to risk a tumble into such delicate things.

At the pass we met a group of Dutch hikers who offered to take our photo. They were surprised by our small packs and asked a number of questions about our route. We pointed toward Fionnay, with buildings in the valley still in view even though we were 5,000 feet higher, and mentioned we'd only started around noon, since we'd driven there from virtually the other side of the country that morning. They didn't seem to process this, and kept naming different huts we might have passed. "No, just Fionnay. It's only 10 kilometers from here," I replied after looking at my watch. 6.3 miles. It felt so much farther away. The Alpine world is both expansive and extremely compressed.

The 6.3 miles on my watch also sparked some alarm, because the route I'd drawn on Strava was only 11 miles long, and the last two miles were flat, which meant apparently we had just three miles to descend 5,000 feet. After drawing up the route, I'd gotten an idea in my head that we needed to travel counter-clockwise to climb the steep side and descend more gradually, but it was the opposite. The climb had been steep enough that I didn't notice, but that meant this descent was really going to hurt. Oops. It went well enough, but for the entire descent all we could see was a sheer horizon that seemed to plummet directly into the valley. New switchbacks would be revealed and all was well, but my vertigo was still faintly buzzing, and I was very slow. I resolved to try harder with my descending, tomorrow.

The following day was entirely my plan, after Beat mentioned that he wanted to visit Zinal. Beat traversed much of Valais last year with the Swiss Peaks 360-kilometer race. During the race he crossed into and out of Val d'Anniviers on lower trails — the course out of the valley ascended directly up a ski slope, painful and ugly. Of course that's where I hiked in Zinal last year as well, having not planned anything better. This trip would be an opportunity to travel higher in the valley and take in delicious glacier views.

Our trip plan this year also provided Beat with a little insight into my own 2018 Swiss Peaks experience, since we needed to drive up a new valley every day. These valley roads are incredible, definitely from another time and culture than my own. Because the Swiss built them, they're mostly smooth pavement, but the single lanes are so narrow that it's difficult to maneuver one vehicle, yet there's two-way traffic winding along narrow notches and precipitous ravines. There are many tunnels, unlit and even more narrow. Driving standard-transmission vehicles here feels like a continuous game of chicken with either oncoming traffic or cliffs, and it's terribly stressful. Combining this driving with crewing stress, sleep deprivation, lack of healthy food and nervousness built up from my solo hiking excursions resulted in one of the worst anxiety attacks I've ever experienced. It was terrible, but it did spark more self-awareness, and I've been cognizant about recognizing and treating my trends toward anxiety since then.

Anyway, the road up Val d'Anniviers was the only time Beat asked me to drive on this trip, and for this I'm grateful. Less driving meant I had more emotional energy to spare for the adventures, and this was a good one — starting with a 5,000-foot climb to 10,500 feet at Cabane Tracuit.

The last part of the climb proved tricky, ascending 40- to 50-percent grades through a boulder field with a fixed-roped scramble up the final pitch. A fierce, cold wind blasted the ridge, and the trail was coated in thick ice. It was a tricky to maneuver with steep exposure to the left and no traction underfoot. We had microspikes in our packs, but were only 50 meters from the cabane, so it was difficult to justify stopping to put them on.


This cabane was a cool thing, though. I mean, look what the Swiss built a vertical mile from the nearest tiny road, straddling a narrow ridge next to glaciers, at 3,200 meters. It looks like a space station. This building was completed in 2013. Beat remembers visiting the old Cabane Tracuit with his dad when he was a kid. They were set to climb Bishorn, a glaciated 4,000-meter peak, but then Beat came down with altitude sickness and had to stay in the hut while his dad climbed. This was a childhood story I hadn't heard before, and was a little incredulous that 10-year-old Beat hiked up a 5,000-foot climb to do some mountaineering with his dad in the days before harnesses and modern boots.


That's Bishorn on the left. It's considered an "easy" 4,000-meter summit, but it is not trivial as you can see. You still need to cross the Turtmann glacier and ascend a snow route beside seracs and other hazards. Beat tends to give the impression that he was not outdoorsy as a child, except when his mountaineering father dragged him on the occasional death march at stupid o'clock in the morning. Turns out, these death marches were impressive expeditions. Meanwhile, I do consider my childhood outdoorsy, although I whined most of the way through an eight-mile hike through a burnt-out Yellowstone forest when I was 10.

For this day's respite at Cabane Tracuit we tried the apple tart. This was even more delicious than the almond tart at Panossière, with a delicate crust, crisp apple slices and light drizzle of dark chocolate. Everything tasted so fresh, and it was nice to enjoy our treat beside the windows spanning an entire wall inside the cabane, with all of the views and none of the wind.

After descending from Tracuit, we continued toward a trail that would take us over Col de Milon. I set this route somewhat nonchalantly, but after my vertigo episodes in Fionnay, I researched it more thoroughly. The traverse stayed above 9,000 feet for several miles and followed a blue-white path, which denotes a technical alpine route. The blue-white markings are meant to warn hikers that the route is more involved, with exposure and potential scrambling. My trip report research boosted my confidence that this route was doable for me, but the tricky red-white ascent to Tracuit sparked new nervousness.

Approaching Col de Milion. The photo doesn't depict it well, but the headwall looked damn near vertical, and north-facing, so it was still in shadow at mid-day and coated on snow. Clear ice seemed likely as well. My heart was fluttering and vertigo began to clamp down, but I still want to believe that I was in control, that I could vanquish my dumb brain's overreaction. So I stiffened that upper lip and held my head high, resolved to stay strong and steady, no drunken shambling. We stuffed our trekking poles in Beat's pack and commenced the hands-and-feet scramble up the talus, which steepened as we climbed. I frequently glanced up and tried not to speculate about which one of those vertical cliffs was the col.

The final pitch to the col — it really was almost vertical, but assisted with fixed chains, which helped in spots where there were few good handholds. This also meant I felt inclined to hold all of my weight on the chains at times, so of course Beat pointed out where a few bolts had popped out of the rock. Still, the vertigo didn't come on the way it had in much safer, better anchored locations the previous day. Historically, I have done better with exposure in places were focus is truly required and drunken shambling actually can become fatal. Maybe my brain isn't a completely unreliable spaz, but I still don't trust it.

(Update: Photo from Beat of the downward perspective)

New views from the other side of Col de Milon. So nice.

Glancing toward the west from Col de Milon, with Weisshorn just hidden from view. I scooted over the saddle as though I was climbing onto the back of a horse, and never fully stood before inching my way off that precipice.

Starting down the moraine that runs below Weisshorn glacier — out of view on the left — while looking toward Glacier de Moming and the tiny pinnacle of the Zinal Rothorn.

I had been a little nervous about this moraine section as well, as trip reports indicated it was a narrow spine of rubble that felt exposed at times. It wasn't technical, but it did sound like just the kind of airy yet unstable terrain that too easily trips my vertigo. The trip reports I'd read had all been written in German and French, so I had to use Google Translate. One translated sentence warned, "Hikers should be without giddiness on the moraine." I laughed at the image of giddily skipping along the steep rubble like a child on a playground. But once I was there, I really felt that way. These incredible views! So many endorphins! Such relief at having survived Milon! Later I learned that giddy can be a synonym for dizzy or skittish in English, but I like my interpretation of capricious joy better.

Beat and I headed toward Cabane d'Arpitettaz, still reasonably full on apple cake, so we planned to only have drinks. As we walked up to the balcony, a woman introduced herself in French as the cabane's caretaker, praised us for crossing over Col Milon — they had watched as we traversed the moraine overhead — asked if we had been to Tracuit as well, and encouraged us to stop for refreshments. Honestly, I've never encountered such friendliness from the Swiss. They're usually nice, of course, but gregariousness is less common. I was feeling woozy (also a synonym for giddy) from the long day and struggled to understand the menu, eventually settling on a Sprite. Beat ordered a large beer, and after gulping it down, announced, "huh, I'm a little drunk."

So with Beat a little bit drunk and me definitely a little bit giddy, we started down the 4,000-foot descent back to Zinal. I was determined to keep a better pace than yesterday, so I made a bold decision to keep my trekking poles packed away. Normally, I feel helpless without my hobble sticks, my klutz crutches, the closest I'll ever to come to the ideal of a well-balanced four-legged creature. But I found that when I focused only on where to put my feet rather than managing four points of contact, I actually did move faster over the rocks.

I was on cloud 9. I felt so amazing. Seriously, I can't imagine there's any drug or amount of beer that could make me feel as giddy as this adventure — crushing the climb, crushing the descent, unbelievable bluebird weather, apple cake and glaciers, all of these glaciers, so incredibly stunning! No, this could not be topped.

For our last day in Valais, though, we had something in mind to top it. The next valley over was the tiny Turtmanntal, where villages suddenly switch from French-speaking to German, there are no ski areas or resorts, every kilometer of the precipitous road is sphincter-clenching, and the only upper-valley village, Gruben, apparently has no year-round residents — only former cattle stages converted to rental chalets. At the end of this valley is a staging area for Barrhorn — "the highest hike in the Alps."


Barrhorn soars to 3,610 meters — 11,843 feet. If 9,000 feet is the moon here, by 11,000 feet one has ascended into outer space. Usually higher Alpine peaks are glaciated, or at the very least flanked by sheer walls and serrated ridges that most humans (i.e. not Kilian) need advanced climbing skills and equipment to ascend. Barrhorn is different. There's a snow-free trail to the top (at least, free of permanent snow.) It's not technical. Anyone can climb it — anyone willing to climb 6,000 feet, that is — and touch the Alpine sky.

This is the trail to Barrhorn — rubble and sand, with a few cables strung along the cliffy section near the top of the Gässi couloir. But hey, it's a trail.

By the time we reached the moonscape, my breathing had deteriorated. Most likely my shallow breaths were an effect of the altitude, or possibly a combination of fatigue and altitude, but breathing difficulty always sparks a spiraling frustration that I have to work harder to reel in. Meanwhile, Beat was marching as hard and steady as ever. He teased me about taking long pee breaks ("I only needed one! OK, two, but most of this trailing behind is just excessive slowness that you're not noticing.") I did feel some pressure to keep up. I couldn't walk and eat and breathe. It was hard enough to just breathe, let alone walk and breathe, so I gave up eating. After a few hours, I felt lightheaded and bonked.

Meanwhile the slope rose ever higher, and soon we were marching through the slushy remnants of Sunday's snow. Near the saddle we encountered two mountain bikers. Their presence was utterly boggling to me. I mean, it felt like an enormous feat of strength just to drag my unburdened body up the steep talus and polished granite. Most of the trail was cut at a 25-35-percent grade, gaining 6,000 feet in six miles. HOW did they get bikes up here? I know a few crazies in Colorado ride 14ers like Huron and that impresses me, but this is just mind-blowing. This guy seemed to be struggling mightily with the descent, swerving and throttling his squealing brakes as he threw a foot down to stop every few meters. He told us he'd ridden Barrhorn before, but it didn't have snow then, and it was much harder with snow. I believe that. But even so. WHY?!


I didn't capture photos of the final ascent because I was a ball of anxiety by that point. The seemingly vertical "trail" was little more than a chute gouged into the loose, almost liquid scree, also covered in shin-deep slush. I'd watched other hikers creeping down it on their butts, and imagined all of the scenarios that could send a person rocketing off the mountain. I insisted on donning my microspikes, mostly for traction in the scree.


And then we were on top. Almost 12,000 feet in the Alps, baby! The views were 360 degrees of wow. This is looking north toward the Bernese Alps. 

Looking south. The closest summit is the Inneres Barrhorn, and then Schollihorn. Both are considered part of the same massif, and some hikers tag all three. Due to the tricky snow conditions and the fact we were driving all the way back to Vordemwald in the evening, we decided to keep it simple and only tag the highest summit.

Gazing southwest, over the Bruenegg Glacier. The farther glacier is Turtmann, and that flat ridge above the glacier is the location of Cabane Tracuit. We could see the hut's metal siding glistening in the sunlight like a signal mirror.  I hadn't even realized our proximity the previous day. As the crow flies, we were only about five miles from the perch where we stood 24 hours earlier. But you really have to be a crow — or a serious mountaineer — to connect the two.

Looking west toward Turtmanntal valley, the high ridge dividing Val d'Anniviers and Zinal, more ridges and more tiny valleys with their tiny, terrifying roads.

We shared the summit with a man who was solo after his friend succumbed to the altitude and turned around. "I am never coming back here, so you better take my picture. Do you want the same?" he asked. You can see from my body language how super relaxed I am about the upcoming descent over liquid snow scree. At least I was able to cram down a roll with thin-sliced beef and one piece of chocolate from Beat, the first thing I'd eaten since breakfast. "I ate snacks on the way up," Beat commented, to which I replied, "I was too busy breathing."

Starting down. Oh man, those views. I was nervous but giddy, in a way that contains all of the synonyms for the word. What an unbelievable day.


(Update: Photo by Beat of the scree-snow descent. Good fun.)

Still, the descent wasn't as bad as I anticipated, but I also couldn't move as quickly or confidently as I had the day before. Trails were still precipitous at times. This photo of Beat dropping into Gässi depicts some of these vertigo-inducing sections well, I think. Near the bottom of the couloir I slipped and took another hard fall onto my butt, for my ongoing collection in a patchwork of bruises. Beat insisted I brush all of the dust off my pants so I could look presentable for Turtmannhütte.

Turtmannhütte is famous for its black forest cake, so of course we tried that. We enjoyed our sweet snack outside the hut with coffee for me, panaché for Beat, and views of Turtmann glacier. We discussed which of the three was our favorite cake, but this was a hard decision. My favorite was probably the apple tart of Tracuit, because it reminded me of mom's apple pie.

Looking back toward Barrhorn (big peak to the left) and Turtmannhütte (small building on the right) as we rounded a small reservoir. Three perfect days, each one more astonishing and leg-crushing than the last. I was sad this trip to Valais was ending and that it had been so short, but perhaps it's better that way. It's good to end on a high note. If only I'd kept this as my last hike in Switzerland ...