Sunday, March 25, 2007

Cabin fever

I don't have any pictures today because I haven't been outside for a couple of days. Patience has never been a virtue of mine. And with work as busy as its been, and the rest of life as enclosed as it's becoming, I'm about ready to burst out the door in a fight-or-flight sprint from apathy.

I can't shake the feeling that if this were the era of survival-of-the-fittest, I would have already been culled from the herd. It's funny to think about life in the caveman days, wondering what would finally bring you down. Some would die in a vicious battle with a potential meal. Others would die in an arduous journey, or by accident when trying to impress a potential mate while jumping over fire. I would be the one to contract a minor injury and become the slowest in the pack by just a touch - but just enough - to fall behind when the predators came around.

I've done some more swimming in the past two days. My hair is like straw and I've been fending off a cramp in my calf muscle most likely caused by dehydration, but other than that, it's going really well. Today I swam 100 laps. It gave me some time to think about endurance swimming as a pursuit. If I learned some technique, worked on moving faster, figured out how to stick my face in the water without inhaling, and bought a good swim cap, I could see progression in this sort of a thing. Of course, swimming long distances in a pool is about as interesting as running 3,100 miles around a single city block. And if I wanted to do something fun, like, say, swim across Kachemak Bay or the English Channel, I'd have to become a lot less intensely afraid of moving water (deep water doesn't scare me. Waves and rivers do.) Other than that, to be quite honest, I think I have more inherent aptitude for swimming than any other sport I've ever tried. Strange to be so naturally inclined and yet so terrified of something at the same time.

Not that I want to be a swim dork or anything. This blog will go bicycle again. Promise.


  1. How about posting some pics of you impressing your mate by jumping over a fire? That would be cool.

  2. Count your blessings, you have a temporary and minor injury. Read My Chain Driven Ride......she doesn't complain ad nauseum or wallow in self pity and she endures for the rest of her life, chronic weakness, fatigue and pain. Injects herself twice a day hoping the rx will stave off the progression of her MS. Shame on you, get out of your own head.

  3. Jill, I hope you don't let those anonymous comments get to you. As you've said before, it's your blog. People read it because they're interested in what your thoughts/experiences are. I retract the shame that 'anonymous' put on you--this is your place to share your feelings, thoughts, and struggles as you see fit. If someone feels you're too self-centered they have no business reading your blog, and certainly no business leaving supercilious, pointless, and rude comments. I don't know you, and I'm not even a bicyclist, but I enjoy your blog for the adventure as well as the conflict--your writing displays a dynamic character, and I'm sure your faithful readers agree that any other way would be somewhat insincere and not nearly as human.

  4. So what you're trying to say is that as long as there is someone out there who has it worse than you, you have no right to feel distress about your own situation? By that logic, no one has the right to feel distress about anything. What a great theory! Now we can all go through life gritting our teeth and feeling happy about ourselves. A breakthrough for modern psychology, I'm sure.

  5. Jill, I can't really say anything others haven't already covered! As to those anonymous comments that get nasty (unlike the one here in this comment string, a nice supportive one, that one is!:) ), remember, those nasty creatures are hiding and you are right out there......

    For what it's worth, I admire the hell out of ya! ;)

  6. sarcasm in the parenthesis, bt the way ;)

  7. If you figure out the swimming technique, all you'll have left is improving your run and you could do the triathlon thing. Opportunities to train yourself into oblivion abound there :)

    Actually I'm thinking you're a shoe-in for adventure racing.

    Keep up the swimming, if nothing else it's a good cardio workout.


  8. I have cabin fever here in Fairbanks, but because we can't shake a cold snap. I hope your knee mends well. Keep on swimming.

  9. Ome of the things I love about having freedom of speech is that you can say great things that people might remember you by, that might even get you killed. Provided of course, that you bother to stand up and take credit for the things you say.

    Imagine this: "Give me liberty, or give me death." Signed,

    Or, this: " I have a dream ..." Signed anonymous.

    It takes guts, and courage, and a pleasant heart, to train and ride in the frigid Alaska wilderness, and then write so eloquently about it. It might take more courage still to share one's pain with anonymous readers.

    If there's any shame to be had it should be the shame of a pitiful commentor, who lacks even the courage or decent courtesy to take credit for such a miserable attitude.

    Thanks Jill. I ordered the book you recommended!

  10. Do orcas hang out in Kachemak Bay? 'Cuz that would give me pause.

    As for caveman-culling, yeah, it bugs me how the little things take you down. I mean, forget lions, parasitical worms are the most dangerous animals on the planet.

    It takes a rare kind of courage to do the things you do. I'm not talking about the riding - that's just crazy. I'm talking about the writing, which is astonishingly honest and often brilliant. Keep on keeping 'on.

  11. Jesus people, is our compatriot some wilting flower? I think not, so I say...Swim dork, swim dork, swim dork!


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